Friday, August 10, 2012
COLLEGE TIME!
Well guys, so far I've written 3 posts and I've gotten almost 200 page views, which I didn't expect in the slightest, so I must say, I'm flattered that you people actually read this nonsense. I'm moving into university this Sunday, so I'll be a little busy for the next couple weeks, but have faith. I'm going to try and start having regular updates at least once a week, let's say on Mondays, maybe more often when I have time and feel like writing something. But right after I move in I'll have band camp all week, so if I can find time to write I will, but I'm not making any promises because I have no idea how much free time I'll have. So, in conclusion, I apologize for not having updated in about a week and I vow to try and change that soon. So wish me luck and expect to have more angry yelling about unimportant things real soon. Thanks again.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
The Legend of Korra sucks.
Readers, I come to you today a broken and disappointed man. Let me begin by saying this post isn't going to make a whole lot of sense unless you're a fairly knowledgeable fan of Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra. Also, if you haven't watched the show yet and were planning on it, don't read this because I can guarantee that there will be spoilers. That said, I'll go ahead and get to the bad news.
Recently, I decided to watch The Legend of Korra. This seemed only natural since I'm such a big fan of The Last Airbender, arguably the best show that has ever been on Nickelodeon. Well, I just got done watching the season 1 finale and I'm disappointed. Disappointed and angry. I didn't go into Korra expecting an exact copy of Airbender and that's by no means what I got. What I did get was a sad and sorry excuse for a show that doesn't deserve the legacy of its predecessor. I have a number of specific complaints here. First, Korra is a really crappy character. She's flat, one-sided, unexciting, and a really sorry excuse for an Avatar. I mean, how can the writer's think that a character with less personality than the Cabbage Merchant (Fans will understand why that's capitalized) can in any way be the main character and namesake of an entire Avatar series, a series renowned for its plethora of interesting and dynamic character. Secondly, the magic is dead. Bending isn't the mystical art that it was in The Last Airbender. For instance, lightning generation, a form of firebending once only mastered by a handful of the world's most powerful firebenders, (namely Ozai, Azula, and my personal favorite character from the series, Iroh) is now so common that Republic City runs their power plant by using common everyday firebenders to generate lightning. Firebending is an ancient art taught to humans by MOTHERFUCKING DRAGONS. You do not use ancient arts taught to humans by mystical creatures to run a damned power plant. Also, bloodbending was discovered by one extremely powerful waterbender, Hama, and then taught to one and only one other extremely powerful waterbender, Katara, both of whom needed the full moon to give them the power to do it. In The Legend of Korra, there's are no fewer than 3 bloodbenders, none of whom need the full moon whatsoever or have any relation at all to Hama or Katara, the only people in the world who know how to do it. This wouldn't have bothered me if the writers had bothered to explain how or why Yakone, Tarrlok, and Amon/Naotak were able to bloodbend at all without the help of the full moon, but did they? No. We're just left to assume that they can do it and we should just ignore the plot and watch the damned show. Furthermore, to go along with the most difficult techniques of bending being used by everyday benders, there are no especially great benders in the world. The closest thing we have is Tenzin and he doesn't demonstrate that he is anymore powerful an airbender than his prepubescent children. Whatever happened to great works of bending, like Iroh using the power of Sozin's Comet to make a fireball so massive that it blasts a giant hole in the walls of Ba Sing Se or all of Aang's many instances of his titanic bending prowess. In The Last Airbender, bending was something awesome and magical. In Korra, it's a side topic to Amon's bull and Korra, Mako, and Asami's big stupid love triangle that adds no substance at all to the plot. In Airbender, we got to see Aang's amazing journey from confused 12 year old airbender to full-realized Avatar. In Korra, Korra already knows everything but airbending right from the word go, even demonstrating he ability to use all three other bending disciplines AS A TODDLER. In Airbender, we got to see the entire world of Avatar. Every nation was visited and we got to see just how amazing that world is. We got to see everywhere, from the stunning Western Air Temple, a city that hangs inverted from the underside of a cliff, to the sprawling, nation-sized city of Ba Sing Se. In Korra, there are two places that we see: The South Pole at the very beginning and the very end and Republic City and all it's stupid, awkward technology everywhere else.
I would be lying if I said that's all I have to say about the Legend of Korra but I'm tired of writing and since I'm the author, you can get over it. What I can say is that I'm disappointed in The Legend of Korra. It's a bad, poorly made sequel to one of the best shows on television. You might remind me that this is only the first season and it could very well get better and I sincerely hope it does, because more Avatar is always a good thing, so long as it doesn't suck. Please God, don't let season 2 suck...
Recently, I decided to watch The Legend of Korra. This seemed only natural since I'm such a big fan of The Last Airbender, arguably the best show that has ever been on Nickelodeon. Well, I just got done watching the season 1 finale and I'm disappointed. Disappointed and angry. I didn't go into Korra expecting an exact copy of Airbender and that's by no means what I got. What I did get was a sad and sorry excuse for a show that doesn't deserve the legacy of its predecessor. I have a number of specific complaints here. First, Korra is a really crappy character. She's flat, one-sided, unexciting, and a really sorry excuse for an Avatar. I mean, how can the writer's think that a character with less personality than the Cabbage Merchant (Fans will understand why that's capitalized) can in any way be the main character and namesake of an entire Avatar series, a series renowned for its plethora of interesting and dynamic character. Secondly, the magic is dead. Bending isn't the mystical art that it was in The Last Airbender. For instance, lightning generation, a form of firebending once only mastered by a handful of the world's most powerful firebenders, (namely Ozai, Azula, and my personal favorite character from the series, Iroh) is now so common that Republic City runs their power plant by using common everyday firebenders to generate lightning. Firebending is an ancient art taught to humans by MOTHERFUCKING DRAGONS. You do not use ancient arts taught to humans by mystical creatures to run a damned power plant. Also, bloodbending was discovered by one extremely powerful waterbender, Hama, and then taught to one and only one other extremely powerful waterbender, Katara, both of whom needed the full moon to give them the power to do it. In The Legend of Korra, there's are no fewer than 3 bloodbenders, none of whom need the full moon whatsoever or have any relation at all to Hama or Katara, the only people in the world who know how to do it. This wouldn't have bothered me if the writers had bothered to explain how or why Yakone, Tarrlok, and Amon/Naotak were able to bloodbend at all without the help of the full moon, but did they? No. We're just left to assume that they can do it and we should just ignore the plot and watch the damned show. Furthermore, to go along with the most difficult techniques of bending being used by everyday benders, there are no especially great benders in the world. The closest thing we have is Tenzin and he doesn't demonstrate that he is anymore powerful an airbender than his prepubescent children. Whatever happened to great works of bending, like Iroh using the power of Sozin's Comet to make a fireball so massive that it blasts a giant hole in the walls of Ba Sing Se or all of Aang's many instances of his titanic bending prowess. In The Last Airbender, bending was something awesome and magical. In Korra, it's a side topic to Amon's bull and Korra, Mako, and Asami's big stupid love triangle that adds no substance at all to the plot. In Airbender, we got to see Aang's amazing journey from confused 12 year old airbender to full-realized Avatar. In Korra, Korra already knows everything but airbending right from the word go, even demonstrating he ability to use all three other bending disciplines AS A TODDLER. In Airbender, we got to see the entire world of Avatar. Every nation was visited and we got to see just how amazing that world is. We got to see everywhere, from the stunning Western Air Temple, a city that hangs inverted from the underside of a cliff, to the sprawling, nation-sized city of Ba Sing Se. In Korra, there are two places that we see: The South Pole at the very beginning and the very end and Republic City and all it's stupid, awkward technology everywhere else.
I would be lying if I said that's all I have to say about the Legend of Korra but I'm tired of writing and since I'm the author, you can get over it. What I can say is that I'm disappointed in The Legend of Korra. It's a bad, poorly made sequel to one of the best shows on television. You might remind me that this is only the first season and it could very well get better and I sincerely hope it does, because more Avatar is always a good thing, so long as it doesn't suck. Please God, don't let season 2 suck...
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Dear people who read this blog...
As you've likely noticed, I haven't published a new blog post in about 3 days. You should just go ahead and get used to this, because I'm a lazy sack of shit who prefers sleeping 18 hours a day as opposed to sitting at my computer writing hilarious blog material. Also, if I try and start a schedule of writing every day or every other day, my writing would become forced and unfunny, and since funny is the only reason any of you sad, lonely people come and read this horrible mistake masquerading as a rant blog, there wouldn't be much of a point to carry on anymore and I'd probably just do us all a favor and quickly introduce myself to the rocks at the bottom of the nearest accessible gorge.
That being said, the Olympics have been going on for 3 or 4 days now and I already want to fly to London and violently eviscerate the head of the British Olympic Committee. Even Google, my island in the swirling sea of internet retardation, has picked up their banjo and jumped onto the Olympic bandwagon that more than half the known world has been gleefully riding since Friday. And if the sheer fact that I can't get a moment's peace from this whole charade wasn't annoying enough, being American as I am, if I were to actually watch the Olympics, I'd find that the only country that there's any coverage of whatsoever IS AMERICA, and that's simply because the broadcasting companies know that the only athletes that the American people care about at all are the American ones, so they don't bother with covering anyone else because as sure as the sun rises in the East some fat redneck from Arkansas would complain to NBC that they're wasting valuable time they could be using to broadcast women's beach volleyball for the 7th time to cover all those loser countries that we haven't democracied up yet. Kenya? Germany? Canada? Those countries don't matter and they hate us for our freedom!! GOD BLESS THE USA AND NO ONE ELSE!! I can't wait for this to be over so I can go back to hating everything else. The Olympics are taking up hatred that I could be using to yell about other funnier things, but noooooo, the Spandex carnival is in town and dammit, if you people won't shut up about it then neither will I. Good day.
I'd also like to wish a very happy and Strider-filled birthday to my dear friend Beverly Shanahan. I can't begin to thank you enough for introducing me to Homestuck and for being bar none the funniest person on my Facebook news feed.
That being said, the Olympics have been going on for 3 or 4 days now and I already want to fly to London and violently eviscerate the head of the British Olympic Committee. Even Google, my island in the swirling sea of internet retardation, has picked up their banjo and jumped onto the Olympic bandwagon that more than half the known world has been gleefully riding since Friday. And if the sheer fact that I can't get a moment's peace from this whole charade wasn't annoying enough, being American as I am, if I were to actually watch the Olympics, I'd find that the only country that there's any coverage of whatsoever IS AMERICA, and that's simply because the broadcasting companies know that the only athletes that the American people care about at all are the American ones, so they don't bother with covering anyone else because as sure as the sun rises in the East some fat redneck from Arkansas would complain to NBC that they're wasting valuable time they could be using to broadcast women's beach volleyball for the 7th time to cover all those loser countries that we haven't democracied up yet. Kenya? Germany? Canada? Those countries don't matter and they hate us for our freedom!! GOD BLESS THE USA AND NO ONE ELSE!! I can't wait for this to be over so I can go back to hating everything else. The Olympics are taking up hatred that I could be using to yell about other funnier things, but noooooo, the Spandex carnival is in town and dammit, if you people won't shut up about it then neither will I. Good day.
I'd also like to wish a very happy and Strider-filled birthday to my dear friend Beverly Shanahan. I can't begin to thank you enough for introducing me to Homestuck and for being bar none the funniest person on my Facebook news feed.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Some idiot made a blog.
So some of those people that already listen to me complain about things on Facebook told me I should start a blog so their newsfeeds wouldn't be clogged with my ramblings. I can't blame them. I wouldn't want to have to listen to me if I were them. So if you're reading this, that means that by some illusory magic you came here with the intent of actually surveying the nonsense that constantly spills out of the cavern in my head. Well, don't say I didn't warn you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)